GHAZAL.....FAANI

WOH JEE GAYA, JO ISHQ MEIN JII SE GUZAR GAYA
EISA KO HO NAVEED, KE BEEMAR MARR GAYA

AAZAD KUCH HUYE HAIN ASEERAN-E-CHAMAN
YAANI JAMAAL-E-YAAR KA SADQA UTAR GAYA

DUNIYA MEIN HAAL-E-AAMAD-O-RAFT-E-BASHAR NA POOCH
BE IKHTIYAAR AA KE RAHA, BEKHABAR GAYA

FAANI KI ZAAT SE GHAM-E-HASTI KI THI NAMOOD
SHEERAZA'H AAJ DAFTAR-E-GHAM KA BIKHAR GAYA

Bravo Oral-B Pro-Health! Out with your ‘batteesi’!

It was supposedly the most awaited FMCG launch to happen… a challenger that would shake the No 1 brand and run tremors of fear through it… a market shaker who prompted competitors to pre-empt with their own challenger launches….

As I watch the ads over the past 3-4 days, my jaw dropped and it’s now touching the floor… I’m amazed, zapped, stupefied all at once…. The first ad I saw was of an inane set of people chewing, eating and Madhuri coming at the end of it and stating some lines about a toothpaste that does everything… someone who wrote the positioning, will certainly get an honourable mention when I teach my students about the ‘E²=0’ principle… which simply means ‘when you emphasise everything, you emphasise nothing’

As a proponent of the use of correct language, it also appalled me to hear the repeated use of the word ‘batteesi’. In Hindi, the word is most often used in the context of dentures. A modified phrase ‘batteeson barkaraar’ was used for years in the advertising of a popular brand while rendering its ’32 intact’ promise in Hindi.  For a Hindi speaking person batteesi is a negative word, most often used in reprimanding context like ‘ batteesi mat dikhao’ (most often used to reprimand those who laugh or grin irreverently) or worse ‘batteesi tod denge… or batteesi bahar nikal denge’ (used to threaten  to break someone’s teeth). Wonder what the brand is trying to say in ‘India ki batteesi’, which as a sentence anyway sounds so wrong .

Then I see another ad of Oral-B toothbrush, with a jaded Madhuri Dixit mouthing out her ‘Smile Officer’ role with a plasticky smile in tow… at the end I saw a ‘buy a Oral-B brush and get a toothpaste free offer’… Wonder what the client and its agencies were thinking as they set out to launch a superior, anticipated brand in a cut-throat and high loyalty toothpaste market through an offer… If I try hard and give P&G its due this may be the company’s way of promoting trials…. But again, does this reflect in how the Company has positioned itself in India… Ask anyone who knows the company beyond being just a consumer and the individual will talk about the Company’s products being premium and high market…. If that is how they have built their perception across their several brands, why would they want to explore trials through a bundled offer?

All I can say with my experience of 40 years of being a campaign planner, with this entry strategy, P&G has sure shaken their competitors… just that the competitors must be shaking with uncontrolled laughter, as they really need not do anything to protect their interest… P&G has done them a great favour with their launch communication, which passes by like a ship in the dark and tops it with a ‘take it home free’ offer…. Just hope the market number 1 & 2 are definitely smarter and do not think about returning the favour, and I continue to wonder in Ghalib’s words ‘Ya ilaahi ye majara kya hai’… 

Meer Taqi Meer ki khud pasandi

Asha'rr ki maqbooliyat, logon ki qadar afzaii ne meer ke dimaagh ko unn hado'n Tak pahuncha diya tha jise ghuroor ka naam diya jaa sakta hai.
Mundarja zail waaqiyaat se andaaza lagaiye:

1. Unn ke kalam ki azmat se kisi shayer ne kabhi inkaar nahin kiya. Lekin phir bhi mukhtalif shayer apne apne ustaad ki taareefe'n kat'tey aur aapas mein ek doosre ko badhatey rehtey. Iss par meer ney ek masnavi " azhdar naama " likhi jis mein unho'n ney apne ohad ke doosre sho'raa ko keede-makodo'n se taabeer kiya, kisi ko saanp bataya, kisi ko bichchoo aur apne aap ko azhdar qarar diya jo ek phunkar se sab ko fana kar deta hai. Yeh masnavi unn ke ibtedaii daur ki hai.

2. Meer ke hum-asar hakeem qudratullah qasim dehalvi apne tazkare" mein likhte hain ke meer ke kubr-o-ghuroor ke mutaalliq kya likhu'n kyun ke uss ki hadd hi nahin hai. Unn ke nakhvat-o-khudsari ke zikr se qalam ki zaban zakhmi huii jaati hai.

3. Qasim ney meer ki bad dimaaghi ka ek waaqiya bhi byan kiya hai. Kehte hain ke Mirza Mohammed Taqi khaan Taraqqi ke yahan mushayera tha. Jura'at ney kai ghazle'n padhi'n. tahseen aur afreen ke shor se kaan padi awaaz sunaii na deti thi. Meer bhi maujood thay. Jura'at Meer ke qareeb aaye aur apne kalaam ki daad chahi. Meer khamosh rahe. Aakhir do-teen martaba ki darkhwast ke baad yeh kaha:-
" kaifiyat iss ki yeh hai ke tum she'rr tau keh nahin jaantey ho apni chooma-chaati keh liya karo. "

4. Meer Saheb lucknow mein taaza vaarid huye thay ke Mirza Mufal Sabqat jo khud achche shayer thay, unn ki mulaaqat ko gaye. Kuch der idhar udhar ki baate'n karne ke baad darkhwast ki ke apne kalaam se mustafeed farmaiye. Meer Saheb ney kuch der sochne ke baad farmaya " tumhari soorat se sukhan fehmi zaahir nahin hoti phir apne sukhan ko zaayaa karney se kya haasil? "

5. Ek din Nawab Asifuddaula'h Bahadur apne kutub khaaney mein tashreef farma thay. Saamne Meer Saheb baithe huye thay. Ek kitaab nawab Saheb se door aur Meer Saheb se qareeb thi. Nawab Saheb ne farmaya ke woh kitaab mujh ko utha dijiye. Meer Saheb ney ek Khadim se farmaya suno tumhare aaya kya farmate hain. Nawab Saheb ney uth kar woh kitaab khud utha li.

6. Aasifuddala'h ke ustaad Meer Soz mujre ke liye haazir huye. Meer Saheb bhi uss waqt maujood thay. Nawab ki farmaish par Soz ney do-teen ghazle'n padhi'n aur Nawab ney khoob taareef ki. Meer Saheb ko Nawab ki taareef nagawar guzri aur Soz se kaha. " tunhe'n iss dileri par sharm nahin aati. Tumhari she'rr khwani ka mauqa aur mahal tau woh hai jahan ladkiya'n jamaa ho'n aur hand-kuliya'n pak rahi ho'n, na woh jahan Meer Taqi maujood ho'n "

7. Apne iss mizaaj ki taraf unho'n ne apne kalaam mein bhi ishaare kiye hain , maslan:

Hai naam majliso'n mein mera be-dimaagh
Az baske kam dimaaghi ney paaya hai ishtihaar

Har lehza bad mizaaji rehti hai meer tum ko
Uljhao hai zamee'n se jhagda  hai aasma'n se

Saare aalam par hu'n main chaaya hua
Mustanad hai mera farmaya hua

Hain musht-e-khaak lekin jo kuch hain meer hum
Maqdoor se zyada maqdoor hai hamara

BAANJH MAUSAMO'N KI RAAGINI..... QATEEL SHIFAYI

BASANT BHI NAHIN KE HARF RANG LU'N
PEELE PEELE RANG MEIN
BAHAR BHI NAHIN KE PHOOL TAANK LU'N
KISI NAII UMANG MEIN
KHIZAA'N BHI WOH NAHIN KE KHUSHK PATTIYA'N
OAS MEIN BHIGO SAKU'N
SAMAA'N BHI WOH NAHIN KE JIS KI TALKHIYA'N
SUROOR MEIN DUBO SAKU'N
GANG APNE SAAZ KI
EK EK JHAANJH HAI
KIS TARAH BASHARATO'N KA HO JANAM
JAB DULHAN HI MAUSAMO'N KI BAANJH HAI

MEETHA GOSHT..... SHAUKAT THANVI

YEH KHABAR TAU AAP NE KUCH DIN PEHLE AKHBAAR MEIN PADH HI LI HO GI KE EK SAHEB NE, JIN KE MUTA'LLIQ YEH TAH THA KE WOH ANGREZI MEIN SHUDD BUDD RAKHTE HAIN.
" SWEET MEAT " KA TARJUMA " MEETHA GOSHT " KIYA THA AUR YEH SAABIT KIYA THA KE WOH ANGREZI MEIN " SHUDD " BHI RAKHTE HAIN AUR " BUDD " BHI YAANI ALEHDA ALEHDA SWEET KE MAANII BHI JANTE HAIN AUR MEAT KE MAANII BHI. AB YEH GHALTI        
UNN KI NAHIN BALKE ANGREZI ZABAN KI HAI KE

          " SWEET MEAT "
MEETHE GOSHT KO NAHIN BALKE MITHAII KO KEHTE HAIN. MAGAR UNN BECHAARE KE USS SLAH AANE SAHI TARJUME KA HAR TARAF MAZAQ UDAYA GAYA. YEH BAAT AKHBAARO'N MEIN CHAPII. ISS PAR TABSARE HUYE. TABSARO'N PAR QAHQAHE LAGAYE GAYE. AUR HANSNE-HANSAANE KE BAAD SANJEEDGI SE ISS QISM KI BAATE'N KAHI GAYEE'N KE DEKH LIJIYE SAHEB AB YEH REH GAYA HAI HAMARA MEYAA-E-TAALEEM AUR AISE HOTE HAIN AAJKAL LE TAALIB-E-ILM.

AB TAU ISS KA KOI ILAAJ NAHIN HAI KE HAMARE BAAZ TAALIB-E-ILMO'N KI ZAHANAT KO BHI JAHALAT KAHA JAATA HAI. MASLAN EK SAHEBZAADE NE ----SUNDAY KO ITWAAR LIKHNA EK AAM RAVISH SAMAJH KAR '" DHOOP KHANE KA DIN " LIKH DIYA. UNN SE POOCHA GAYA BARKHURDAR DHOOP  KHAANE KE DIN SE TUMHARI KYA MURAD HAI TAU WOH BOLE " KE JIN ANGREZO'N KI YEH ZABAN HAI. UNN KE MULK MEIN BADI SARDI PADTI HAI MAGAR MASROOFIYAT KI WAJAH SE WOH DHOOP KAANE KO BHI TARSA KARTE HAIN. ALBATTA HAFTE KA YAHI DIN HOTA HAI JAB WOH KAAROBAR BAND KARTE HAIN. DAFAATAR NAHIN JAATE AUR CHUTTI MANA KAR NIHAYET ITMINAAN SE PADE DHOOP KHAYA KARTE HAIN ISI RIYAET SE ANGREZO'N NE ISS DIN KA NAAM SUN YAANI SURAJ AUR DAY YAANI DIN GOYA SURAJ KA DIN RAKHA HAI. AGAR AAP ISS KO ITWAAR KEHNE LAGE HAIN TAU ISS KI ZIMMEDARI ANGREZO'N PAR NAHIN HAI. AAP AGAR SUNDAY KO SHARBAT-E-BANAFSHA BHI KEHNE LAGTE TAU WOH AAP KA KYA KAR SAKTE THAY.MAGAR SUNDAY KE ASL MAANI YAHI HAIN JO MAIN NE LIKHE HAIN YAANI DHOOP KHANE KA DIN.

ISS QISM KE TARJUMO'N KE ISS ZAMAANE KE SAB SE BADE USTAAD HAMARE DOST MAULANA MAHIR-UL-QADRI HAIN JIN KO URDU AUR ANGREZI DONO ZABANO'N PAR ITNA UBOOR HAASIL HAI KE WOH INN ZABANO'N KE IMTEZAJ SE EK AISI ZABAN BANATE  CHALE JAA RAHE HAIN JO NA URDU JAN'NE WAALO'N KE PALLE PADTI HAI NA ANGREZO'N KI SAMAJH MEIN AATI HAI. EK SE EK ZBAN DAA'N ANGREZ YEH ANGREZI SUNN KAR KAKKA BAKKA REH JAATA HAI. ANGREZO'N KA YEH HAAL HAI TAU HUM DESI KIS KHET KI MOOLI HAIN. AGAR KISI KO APNI ANGREZI DAANI PAR NAAZ HAI TAU BATAYE KE ALIVE WIND KE KYA MAANI HAIN. POOCHTE PHIRIYE EK SE EK MAADARZAAD ANGREZ SE NA SAB KE SAB CHAKRA KAR REH JAAYE'N TAU HAMARA ZIMMA. JANAAB-E-WAALA ISS ALIVE WIND KE MAANII HAIN " ZINDA BAAD ". AB ALEHDA ALEHDA DONO LAFZO'N KE MAANII DEKH LIJIYE.

ALIVE YAANI ZINDA. ISS TARJUME SE KISI KO INKAAR NAHIN HO SAKTA WIND YAANI BAAD BAMAANII HAWA LIHAZA DONO MIL KAR ZINDA BAAD HUYE YA NAHIN.ISI TARAH MAULANA MAHIR-UL-QADRI NE JO ANGREZI BOLTE HUYE MAHIR-UL-PAADRI NAZAR AATE HAIN APNE EK DOST SHAYER SE POOCHA.

" KYUN JANAAB AAP NE KABHI " LITTLE SEA " MEIN GHAZAL KAHI HAI? "

AB WOH BECHARA HAIRAN KE KYA JAWAB DE. AAKHIR BA-MUSHKIL KHUD MAULANA NE APNE SHAYER DOST KO SAMJHAYA KE:-

" LITTLE SEA " KA MATLAB KE CHOTI BEHAR MEIN GHAZAL KAHI HAI. "

MAHROOMI...... PARVEEN SHAKIR

NANNEH SWATI BACHCHE KE KASHKOL MEIN
SUBAH SE SHAAM TALAK
NEELI AANKHON, BHOORE BAALON, DHANWANO'N KI BADAULAT
UJLI HANSI AUR CHAMKEELE AANSOO KE AKS BADLE
MAILE SIKKE AAJ BHI DIN BHAR GIRTE RAHE
AAJ BHI KHOJTI RAHI SNAA'AT
KAASA-E-DIL MEIN KOI KHANAK !

QASEEDA DAR MADAH AASIF UD DAULAH BAHADUR... MEER TAQI MEER

RAAT KO MUTLIQ NA THI YAAN JEE KO TAAB
AASHNA HOTA NA THA AANKHON SE KHWAB

LOT'TA THA SOZ-E-GHAM SE AAG MEIN
DIL JIGAR SINKTE THAY JU'N KABAB

HAR ZAMAA'N THI SAATH APNE GUFTUGU
KYA KARUN SHAHAR AUR MAIN DONO KHARAB

THA KARAM SHEVA'H JINHON KA UTH GAYE
BAITHE BAITHE KHINCHIYE KAB TAK AZAAB

JAAIYE KIS DARR OOPAR KAUN HAI
MILIYE KIS SE KAUN MILNE KA HAI BAAB

LE JAWANI SE PHIRE PEERI TALAK
IMTEHAA'N MEIN AA GAYE SAB SHEIKH-O-SHAAB

NAGAHA'N MUJH SE LAGA KEHNE SAROSH
RAHGUZAR SE LUTF JI KAR KAR KHITAAB

HAI KAREEM AB BHI VAZEER IBN-E-VAZEER
AASIF-UD-DAULAH FALAK QADAR-O-JANAB

AASMA'N RUTBA HAI JIS KA AASTA'N
NAAZ KAR TAAL'E PE JO HO BAARYAAB

USS KI HIMMAT SE SUKHAN KYA SAR KARUN
BAAT KEHTE VE DURR-O-YAAQOOT-E-NAAB

USS KE DSAT-O-DIL KE RASHK-O-SHARAM SE
KHOON HAI DIL KAAN KA DARIYA HAI AAB

DAST-E-HIMMAT USS KA GAR DURR BAAR HO
PAANI PAANI SHARAM SE HOVE SAHAAB

MAAL KYA HAI HAFT GANJ-E-KHUSROVI
EK HI KO NAWWAB BAKHSHE HAI SHATAAB

FAKHR SAAM-O-RUSTAM USS KI BANDAGI
DAAKHIL-E-KHUDDAM YAA'N AFRAASYAAB

JIS SEHAR JURA'T SE KHEENCHI UNN NE TEGH
DHAAL RAKHE MUNH PE NIKLA AFTAAB

RAZM KE ARSE MEIN HALCHAL PAD GAII
AASMA'N KE KHEME KE KAANPI TANAAB

IT GOES ON , PRETTY LONG IT IS....REST LATER :)